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March 2, 2011

WAITING FOR MY NEW GRANDDAUGHTER...

Tonight I am anxiously waiting for my new baby granddaughter to be born. My daughter is in the hospital in labor and the doctor predicts she should have her baby girl by tomorrow afternoon. She is almost two hours away from me and I have the flu so I can not be there for her so I am sitting here alone in a very quiet room, almost too quiet on my laptop chatting with her about every half hour or so for updates and it's killing me. I can't even explain the feeling in my stomach and what's going through my mind constantly. The quiet here just echos my thoughts in my head and I don't know how to do this but I'm doing it. Ashley, my daughter is 19 and this is her second child, she has a son who is the love of my life, AJ and he is 2 1/2 years old. I was there when he was born, actually I was the first and only person allowed in the delivery room as soon as he was born except for Alan his dad of course and I got to hold him right after Mommy & Daddy did. But tonight I am going insane wanting to be there for Ashley and to see Abbygail the second she is born. I know she is going to look exactly like her mother did 19 years ago. So between talking with Ashley online I'm doing this and talking with friends and family and just trying to get through the night, it's going to be a long, quiet, scary night for me but it's going to be unexplainable for Ashley so I will keep on going and make it through the night and tomorrow I will have two grandchildren and it's so wonderful. Not the way I planned it to be, she is 20 days early so I was surprised today and my heart dropped then flew and it's one big roller coaster ride that's only going to get faster and crazier as the night goes on. I will be strong for Ashley, but I'm much stronger online than I really am at this moment. What do I do??? How can I get rid of this anxiety and enjoy this more? .............................


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