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May 17, 2011

Your 34-month-old: Beating bossiness...

Your 2-year-old now...

Hey, who's the boss around here? Along with better language skills can come an annoying new personality trait: bossiness. "Put my coat on." "Come here, Mommy!" "Sit there, Daddy." Your child sees herself as the center of the universe, so she finds it only natural to believe that everyone revolves around her. Although you can't argue with that perception developmentally, you can coach her to be a little nicer about it. Encourage the use of "please" and a "nice voice" when she wants something.

Sometimes bossiness is a bid for your attention. She may make imperious demands because she really wants you to listen to her or play with her right this minute. Again, teach her to ask nicely. Let her know that you can't always comply with her wishes just then and help her to learn patience by responding to her as soon as you can.

Your life now...

You might be starting to see more and more of your personality in your child. (Or Grandpa's personality, or funny Uncle Bob's.) Sometimes children inherit their parents' temperaments and sometimes parent-child temperaments clash like polka dots and stripes. If you were shy and your child lives in the limelight, it can feel harder to relate to her. Your personality can also influence how you treat your child. For example, if you were a star athlete you might feel driven to provide your child with lots of sports opportunities, even if she'd rather be playing with dolls. The main thing is to respect and nurture the child you have for who she is and not veer too far into projecting anybody else onto her.

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