How to cope with a toddler and a new baby

It will be hard at times, but it won't be impossible. Here are our top tips on how to cope.

• Prepare as much as possible beforehand. Cook and freeze meals while you're still pregnant so you've a good supply of nutritious food to see you all through the early days after the birth.

• Don't be too proud to accept offers of help -- and don't be afraid to suggest really useful things friends could do.

• Lower your expectations of how the house will look during the first few weeks. You've got a lot on your plate, and it doesn't really matter if the dusting doesn't get done or you have to wear un-ironed clothes for a few days.

•As soon as you can, try to get out for at least a short walk every day -- it's amazing what a boost it is to get out of doors.

• Make your toddler aware from the very start that the baby is interested in her, is watching her and loves her. Say things like, "She's following your game with her eyes" and "She's very interested in what you're doing".

• Involve her in games with the baby from the earliest days, and always tell your toddler how much you value her help and assistance with helping at bathtime and so on.

When jealousy arises, just be firm. You may need to reiterate that the baby is a part of the family and is staying. A lot of toddlers will ask their parents to send the baby back. But like everything in life, it takes time to get use to the change. Keep a watchful eye on your baby and toddler. Some toddlers will react with anger - slapping or hitting the new baby. Don't overreact - but firmly explain that he is hurting the baby and that behavior is not acceptable. To the toddler the world once revolved around them - now they have to share their world with this tiny creature that takes mommy's attention away. Try to understand from the toddler's point of view that they are simply defending their position and be patient with them.

 

When you bring your new baby home - remember that the toddler, no matter how sweet and gentle they are, is too young to baby-sit. Keep an eye on both of them, and very soon the baby will be big enough to actually play with the big brother or sister.

Do whatever it takes to make you child feel that you need his help and he is not forgotten. It is okay to let your child assist in feeding ay with your supervision. That way they to can form a bond with their sibling.

Your 1-week-old

Your baby's eyesight is still pretty fuzzy. Babies are born nearsighted and can see things best when they're about 8 to 15 inches away, so she can see your face clearly only when you're holding her close.

Don't worry if your baby doesn't look you right in the eye from the start: Newborns tend to look at your eyebrows, your hairline, or your moving mouth. As she gets to know you in the first month, she'll become more interested in having eye-to-eye exchanges. Studies show that newborns prefer human faces to all other patterns or colors. (Objects that are bright, moving, high-contrast, or black-and-white are next in line.)

Even this early, babies can recognize faces and gestures intuitively — and sometimes even imitate them. Try putting your face close to hers and sticking out your tongue or raising your eyebrows a few times. Then give your baby some time to mimic your gesture.

Even if your baby doesn't copy your expression now, she's keeping close tabs — and learning. If you interact with her and she doesn't seem receptive at all, don't worry. She may have gotten sleepy or a bit overwhelmed and need to take a break.

Young babies spend a lot of time sleeping, and to reduce the risk of SIDS, the safest sleep position is on their back. But when your baby's awake — and in the coming weeks she'll have more and more "awake" time — be sure to put her on her tummy. Babies need to spend time on their belly every day to strengthen their neck muscles. So start getting her used to that position now, or she may resist when she gets older.

All babies are unique and meet milestones at their own pace. Developmental guidelines simply show what your baby has the potential to accomplish — if not right now, then soon. If your baby was premature, keep in mind that kids born early usually need a bit more time to meet their milestones. If you have any questions at all about your baby's development, ask your healthcare provider.

My babies!!!

I am so blessed to have such wonderful kids, my amazing daughter and son-n-law have given me two beautiful grandchildren, AJ who is 2 1/2 and now Abbygail who is 1 week old. Thank you Ashley & Alan! I love you all more than anything in this world. You are the light of my life and my everything.

Congratulations Ashley, Alan & AJ on your new blessing...

Abbygail Lyla, born March 11, 2011 at 9:53pm, she weighed 8lbs., 7ozs., and 20" long. The whole family is doing great and of course I'm as proud as can be, I have a beautiful granddaughter, Abby and wonder grandson, AJ!!! Thanks to my amazing daughter, Ashley & son-n-law, Alan!!!